Mary Sue's Visit To Narutoverse
by Fartickles
Summary: Do you love Mary Sue? Do you love watching Mary Sue get her perfect bubble butt ass bashed by all your favourite Naruto character's? Read no further, join her stuck up violet eyed fabulousness on her not so delightful adventures in the land of Naruto Uzumaki!
1. Chapter 1

Her name was Mary Sue, and she was extremely modest as well as extremely perfect, she was especially obedient, following the exact same cliché plotline as all the Mary Sue's on fan fiction do with undying loyalty.

The first thing people noticed about her was her hot, hot body, hot enough to melt the entire north pole, causing Santa to nearly drown to his death, therefore causing him to be the only being in existence who dared feel the tiniest smidgen of dislike towards the twelve year old sex goddess.

Also causing all the children to hate him and refuse all his presents that year.

So I'm sure most of you with the average IQ would have by now guessed that Mary Sue was an insanely good looking person, with abundant amounts of gorgeous knee length hair which was naturally sapphire blue.

Because since the first thing people tend to notice about someone when first meeting them was their appearance, nature gave her blue hair because it obviously thought it highly significant to let people know upon first meeting that she was just sooo much better and unique than them upon first meeting. (also black, brown, red, blonde and any other hair colour that wasn't hers was for commoners)

Not only did nature gift her with cool amazing naturally blue hair, but also the most mesmerizing violet eyes patterned with the most intricate delicate design, that resembled the back of a butterflies wing.

Of course like all Mary Sue's, fiery golden sparks appeared in them when she was angry, only succeeding in making her look even more of an erection provoking sight which wasn't often as she hardly ever got angry being as sweet tempered as she was perfect and beautiful.

But despite being the most hottest, smartest (when the school had her IQ tested, immediately recognizing her shining intelligence, they had to invent a new number and symbol for infinity especially for her)unbelievably talented, sweet natured, funniest most charismatic girl to grace the lowly species of mankind with her hot, smart, unbelievably talented, sweet natured, funny charismatic self, she *sob* suffered from so much.

At home her parents brutally abused and tortured her in every way possible. They constantly liked to hug her (obviously hoping in break one of her ribs, causing it to puncture her lung therefore effectively suffocating her)

They also showered her with so many presents every day, knowing that even someone as perfect as her couldn't cope with so much responsibility, they hoped that one day she would be buried alive in all her material possessions.

They also insisted on her having a personal maid to wait on her, because they were so lazy they couldn't be bothered to wait on her themselves.

They also wouldn't allow her to host wild parties full of drugs and alcohol, just to trash her social reputation at school. School was especially terrible, everyone there was envious of her and so bullied her.

There was a particular group of girls that followed her everywhere, and harassed her by forcing her to engage in petty shallow conversation with them about makeup and fashion.

Which was useless to Mary Sue since she didn't need make up, it was for posers! Not to mention these conversations weren't near intellectually challenging enough for her ingenious brain, even more ingenious than Shikamaru's except Mary Sue wasn't lazy, she was charismatic, and liked to share her talent and genius for the benefit of others!

Not because she was an egotistical show off with a six foot long pole shoved up her elegantly curved rather tempting large ass at all, no.

And besides, her face was so naturally gorgeous that make up would only cover up her beauty.

As for fashion, The naturally gorgeous midnight haired beauty would look just as gorgeous in a shocking orange jumpsuit much like the one Naruto wore, but since she possessed confidence as well as beauty.

So she liked to wear clothes that would emphasize her curves which practically defined femineity and was what attracted her the one good thing in her temptingly wrist cutting life.

The massive crowd of fan boys that loved to follow her round. But liking the attention didn't make our ravishing bodied heroine a whore at all. It all the fault of her cruel parents, for not bothering to forge a good loving relationship with their daughter.

So therefore you could not blame her Sueness at all for not recognizing a bad relationship. So therefore she resorted to the few measly scraps of attention from those fan boys who would flood her locker with elaborate gifts on valentine's day, by dressing to harden the most hot female resisting dick out there.

But apart from this, she still endured endless abuse. She once tried calling for a child abuse helpline from one of her abundant collection of top notch smart phones (I'm afraid I'm unable to tell you exactly how many top notch smart phones she owns, because it is impossible for anyone but Mary Sue to be able to count that high)

But anyway, the helpline wasn't helpful at all and told the poor distressed damsel to find better things to do with her time than prank calling.

She also tried approaching a teacher about the girls that tried to shrink her ingenious brain with their deliberately daft topics of conversation.

But the teacher did nothing to stop the bullying and simply rolled her eyes and walked of. Once again someone whose job it was to help her had left the purple eyed genius on her own, blinking back tears from those distinctive eyes.

But when those so called friend's took her out for dinner at a fancy restaurant to celebrate her birthday and ordered a three tiered chocolate cake, just to try fatten her up so she would lose her adoring crowd of fan boys.

And so they would actually have an excuse to bitch behind her back (not that Mary Sue would ever become fat because her metabolism was as perfect as the rest of her) it was the last straw.

The distressed still slender violet eyed beauty kept up a smile and perky mood through the rest of her birthday dinner.

But as soon as it was over, she couldn't bear it any longer. The utterly perfect example of a human being ran all the way home, ignoring the loud honking of the limousine driven by her private chauffer that had come to pick her up (because being driven back to her mansion in a limousine by a private chauffer kind of ruined the 'OMG Im such a pitiful unfortunate damsel in distress' mood she was aiming for)

So she ran, depressing music playing in the background, long sapphire hair streaming, violet eyes brimming with tears, F cup breast's bounci-ahem.

So the F cup breasted (insert positive adjective here, since I'm really running out of idea's) angel dashed into her bedroom locking the door before collapsing into a sobbing heap on her four poster velvet bed which her parents who were currently calling after her in fake concern had only gotten her in hope that one of the iron poles holding up the fabric would fall and crush her skull whilst she was sleeping.

As she lay and wept her golden heart of nothing but purity and kindness out, she thought of the ultimate best thing in her life besides her fan boy club. The anime Naruto.

So still sobbing, she inserted a random episode into the CD slot, too depressed to choose, and switched on the plasma screen TV which took up her entire wall.

Mary Sue slowly stopped sobbing, soul soothed by the awesomeness of the Japanese theme song. Then, what her ingenious brain thought were nothing more than a bunch of computer produced drawings became 3D, the colours became less bright, and more real, subtle looking.

Then like all the cliché fic's that can't think of a creative way to suck their self-insert's into the Narutoverse, this fic faithfully following the cliché plotline did the exact same, as Mary Sue was suddenly sucked into the wonderful world of Naruto by her TV.

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

Naruto and Kiba were casually taking a not so peaceful stroll round the vibrant streets of Konohoa. Together arguing over all the most pointless useless things that nobody could care less about which included which one of them was going to become Hokage.

Even though they really should have been training their sorry butts off for the chunnin exams that were to begin the next day, in where either one of them if not both could possibly die a very painful death.

But then they suddenly stopped arguing.

As I was stalking them from my not so original hiding spot behind a nearby tree, at first I thought it was because their depressingly miniscule pea sized brains (the exact opposite of our lovely blue haired, purple eyed protagonist's) had simply burned out of the fuel to continue.

Or maybe the thought had abruptly struck them both at exactly the same time by pure coincidence that they should maybe start training for those chunnin exams where they could possibly die.

I was more lenient to the first option, (after all this is Naruto and Kiba were talking about here) and was about to type that down on my keyboard, until I followed their extremely rude stares to our lovely blue haired, purple eyed protagonist whose brainpower was just sooooo much more superior to their own depressingly miniscule pea sized lumps of barely existent mush.

Luckily her lovely blue haired, purple eyed extremely perfect majesty hadn't heard me tapping away at my keyboard despite her amazing hearing which of course was as just as perfect as the rest of her.

She was far too star struck by two poor horrified boys before her who had just had their innocence permanently shattered by her indecent choice of clothing.

Never, never would they ever be able to look at any of their female team mates, or anything that possessed a vagina for that matter, the same way AGAIN!

If Tsume were there she would growl, slash out the embodiment of perfections delicate slender throat, and - well, probably leave the rest of her exposed body parts untouched, since they DID consist of 97% boob.

And hell no would she dare look at those, for the sake of avoiding unwanted bends in her currently straight sexuality(because, yes it is possible for someone's sex appeal to be THAT powerful)

But anyway, how dare that almost nudist taint HER son!

Oh, and just for the sake of not leaving Naruto out of this pointless rant since he was excluded enough as a child; Minato and Kushina would be keeling over on their knees, weeping tears of pity from heaven for their no longer innocent sweet little blonde haired ADHD challenged foxy faced blue eyed ramen obsessed bundle of ignorance.

Meanwhile, the lovely Mary Sue gracefully pranced over to the two boys with unicorn like ease, remembering in time she should not be at all star stuck to see them even though they were popular characters from an anime which she didn't know existed in real life a minute ago.

Because after all they were just a bunch of scruffy commoners who had only saved a bunch of lives, possessed the potential to kill, had a nine tailed fox inside one of them, and only trained at the academy that raised skilled deadly ninjas for like, their WHOLE pathetic freakin lives! And she was Mary Sue!

So she halted before them, confident that by now they were both head over heels in love with her even though they had only been within her presence for less than a minute.

The purple eyed beauty widened those distinctive eyes of hers as wide as they could get and clasped her manicured hands at her generous bust which was currently straining against the transparent black lace of her skimpy crop top.

Mary Sue then allowed her eyes to brim with tears and schooled the rest of her perfect features into such adorable puppy dog eyes that it made puss in boots look hideous in comparism. But then again, the sapphire haired goddess could do that to anyone standing beside her.

"Excuse me, I know your both very busy, but I'm sure for someone as hot as myself, " she pouted, giving a modest jiggle of her larger than life bust.

"You surely wouldn't mind allowing me to completely rule your house for the rest of my life, as well as providing me with only the finest luxury foods and letting me have my own private pool and plasma screen TV, my own lavishly decorated bedroom and a personal maid? Oh, and of course I won't be expected to work for any of this."

she added, she was just about to thank her super genius brain for being so clever at finding a permanent home where she wouldn't be abused within two minutes.

AND for saying all of that in Japanese, when she hadn't ever been exposed to the language before! When her perfect institution hampered down on her parade by telling her something was very wrong.

Kiba and Naruto stood, Fixed to their spots, their pitiful brains which were as slow as well as they were tiny, were still struggling to process the overwhelming series of events that had just occurred.

A wannabe prostitute/almost nudist/bimbo/freakish blue haired purple eyed alien species/scarcely clothed person who had just stolen their innocence, had just pranced over to them, suggestively shook their tit's at them and practically demanded that they allow it to live with them forever.

Oh, and it just demanded a whole bunch of things they could no way afford…

"Is something, the matter?" asked the blue haired definition of perfection, putting forward a tentative hand…

Brave Akamaru whatever the hell his last name is suddenly clamped his sharp row of choppers shut upon the hand which was threatening his personal space. Mary Sue gave a whimper of pain.

The sound broke the two pathetic excuse for shinobi's (but let's not forget anyone looks pathetic within the presence of her fabulous purple eyed hotness) from their trance. They started running at their supreme awesome ninja speed whilst screaming like little girls which kind of ruined the effect.

"Wait!"

"I wouldn't mind giving up the lavishly decorated bedroom, I'll even share a bed with one of you if that's what you really want!"

But our beautiful heroines desperate cries did nothing but terrify the two boys into running even faster and screaming even louder.

But they were no match for Mary Sue. She recovered immediately from the pain and willed her body not to bleed since it might've lost her that badass side of herself. Oh yes. You heard right.

Not only is she hot, smart, unbelievably talented , sweet natured, funny, charismatic and every synonym for the word perfect in the English dictionary. But she is the number one ultimate feisty, strong willed badass bitch.

How do you think she managed to survive that tragic, utterly traumatizing, heart wrenchingly sorrowful childhood of hers?!

So her badass blue haired feistiness sped after the boys at the speed of light, no exaggeration! Oh her violet eyes were blazing with golden sparks that resembled the flames that people on fan fiction so love to burn others self-esteem with!

She was getting there, so close to catching up with the boy's, when suddenly, she wobbled in her ten inch gothic high heeled boots, and since not even her golden sparky eyed awesomeness can run for very long in ten inch heels...

She ended up tripping and falling to the floor screaming like…um…(insert appropriate word which is a positive adjective for the verb; 'screaming' since I really can't think of one at the moment)

And so there she lay, in utter despair, with a now twisted ankle (or was it?) the spitting image of a heroine in crisis.

To be continued…..


	3. Chapter 3

Naruto and Kiba were still running, until they collided into an extremely pissed of pink haired kunoichi who had yet again been rejected after a fail attempt to hit on Sasuke.

Sakura growled like the man lady she was and clenched her fists. There were those flames rising behind her so exactly like the ones people on fan fiction love to burn others self-esteem with.

But after that encounter with our gorgeous beloved sapphire haired heroine, Sakura suddenly seemed like a mere harmless bunny rabbit who was good for nothing but gnawing on carrots(or in Sakura's case, hitting on Sasuke)

So the two still terror stricken boys who were no way going to survive the chunnin exams if they could barely survive our Lovely purple eyed utterly perfect in every way - um…never mind.

So they both forced the unsuspecting girl in a big snuggly hug somehow the flames behind her not burning their flesh at all as they sobbed into the embrace and started wailing about some blue haired hooker trying to hit on them.

Along with a whole bunch of extremely rude cuss words that they SURELY couldn't be referring to our favourite purple eyed sex goddess with, oh no none of the words they had blurted out were synonyms for the word perfect.

The extremely confused pink haired girl roughly pushed the wannabe shinobi of herself when they arrived at the part when said blue haired hooker fell and twisted her ankle.

Of course, having a vagina and all, even the weirdo pink haired she man possessed empathy, something that all self-respecting creatures who possess vaginas have for likeminded fellow kindred spirits who also happen to possess vaginas.

So Haruno Sakura lashed out with her fist and knocked those boys flying with the amazing brute strength of her ultra intimidating she man power! But that wasn't the worst to come, she next opened her mouth and that was when the nightmare began.

"What the hell is wrong with you guys!"

"You don't just leave an injured girl alone by herself!"

"Way to be a gentleman!"

The two boys cowered at the shrillness of her voice with honestly sounded like an oversized rodent squeaking as Sakura proceeded to ramble on about a whole bunch of insignificant crap that involving them rescuing the poor wounded damsel in distress and carrying her bridal style to the hokages office and getting her to train alongside them as a ninja and becoming a lifelong best friend and making friendship bracelets and sharing chocolate cupcakes for eternity and so on.

All exactly the kind of ultra-cliché plotline those rubbish poorly written Mary Sue stories on fan fiction follow.

So Sakura grabbed the two morons by the scruff of their necks and dragged them back to her sweet blue haired cuddliness.

Who for once wasn't Mary Sue whom I was referring to, but Hinata Hyugga who was currently quivering in terror, looking as though she was about to pass out as she avoided the glare that a pair of golden speckled violet eyes were directing at her.

As for the owner of those glaring purple eyes whose identity I'm sure most of you with the average IQ would have accurately guessed by now, I was unable to find any word in the English dictionary which was an accurate description of her current state and yet at the same time a synonym for the word 'perfect'.

Because Mary Sue was scowling. Oh yes. The usually sweet natured angel was soiling her perfect reputation by the so simple act of slanting her eyebrows downwards and flipping that beautiful smile which could light up the blackest of hearts upside down.

Anger was something normal people experienced. In other words something that only petty mainstream mortals who weren't Mary Sue experienced. But Mary Sue was above them all! Mary Sue was above everyone! And she was stooping to their level!

"What the hell is going on?" demanded the pink haired she man who's bitchy instincts just willed her to find out the source of all the obvious tension, so she could later spread the gossip to the entire village.

Her gorgeous hot bodied loveliness spun her perfect head in the direction of the voice. The poor distressed damsel was not having a good day. Not that she had enjoyed many of those in her extremely tragic life, but today had to be the worst day of them all.

Not only had her two favourite characters from her favourite anime ran away screaming from her after she had so generously offered them the privilege of permanently gracing their lives with her presence. (hell, they should've been having a bitch fight over which one of them would get to live with her)

Then her amazing/mind-blowing/ultra-awesome badass moment was all ruined when she tripped over and twisted her ankle, making her look like a pathetic wannabe amazing/mind blowing/ultra-awesome badass person who really needed to expand their wannabe amazing/mind blowing/ultra-awesome badass vocabulary!

After that, the next thing to be snatched away from her was that striking originality of hers. She was innocently lying on her back pretending to be a wounded damsel in distress in hope that one of the idiotic shinobi would realize the error of their actions and turn back and proceed to rescue her and carry her to safety bridal style.

But then along came someone with blue hair exactly like her own! What was the meaning of this? Nature had gifted her with blue hair so that everyone would know at once that she was just soooo much better than them upon first glance.

Now here came along this girl with who not only had hair the exact same shade of blue as her but also lavender eyes, which were the same colour as her own only a lighter shade. Surely the girl was copying her!(despite the fact the two had lived in completely different dimensions and had only met for the first time today so that was in no way possible) But if Mary Sue thought so, it MUST'VE been true.

She knew the girl was Hinata Hyuuga, and she also knew that she suffered and was still suffering from a verbally abusive father, that she had been deprived of love and affection, and that her mother died.

Oh Mary Sue had never felt so threatened in her life, she didn't care that the girl was only sweet timid little Hinata Hyuuga. The same girl was challenging her authority by daring to be born with blue hair and almost purple eyes AND copying her in not only appearance, but also copying her by having an even more tragic past than her!

For the first time in her tragic life, the midnight haired angel felt this extremely powerful emotion pass through her for the first time. Because she was so unfamiliar with the emotion she did not even understand what it was at first, but then she realized.

The emotion was hate.

From this day on Hinata Hyuuga would be her rival. The same way as Naruto and Sasuke, as Lee and Neji, as Kakashi and Gai, as Ino and Saku- speaking of the devil, wasn't that just her shrill voice she'd heard?

Oh crap. Here was yet another lowly commoner challenging her authority by having PINK hair. How dare these lowly mortals? Did they not understand that only the definition of perfection was allowed to have cool amazing hair?!

Mary Sue then consoled herself by remembering at least Sakura didn't possess the mind-blowingly hot body of a sex goddess, or survived a tragic past, oh no, Sakura was nothing but a spoilt brat, completely unlike her so utterly powerful self. (powerful to have survived her horrible past with no physiological or physical damage what so ever, despite the fact she was never physically harmed in anyway)

So her violet eyed fabulousness simply launched into a long explanation of her tragic past, her terrible day (leaving out her newfound hatred for Hinata, she had no intention of sharing that very private piece of information for the sake of her already unsteady perfect reputation) being sure to emphasize what a perfect damsel in distress she was and- oh my gosh, Im so *sob* grief stricken for her I barely have the heart to continue *sob* someone please pass me a box of tissues.

Sakura, as I described earlier being extremely empathetic like every self-respecting creature with a vagina, she patted the girl comfortingly on the back and screamed for the two shinobi (who had completely zoned out through the entire heartfelt speech made by her sapphire haired perfect complexioned sweetness) to carry her to the Hokages office to explain the situation since she was obviously to grief stricken to limp on her own one good foot and twisted ankle that she'd never twisted in the first place, but just faking it for sympathy she no way deserved.

So the two shinobi carried her off along with Akamaru tagging at their heels, being sure to growl at the blue haired bimbo every now and then, as Kiba and Naruto were trying their hardest to avoid touching her almost nude body, along with the bossy pink haired bitch absolutely nothing like our WONDERFUL protagonist leading them along snapping out orders whenever it suited her.

Hinata just stood there wondering the hell just happened. She was about to follow the group to check up on the-um..overwhelmed with grief violet eyed girl and also to make sure the weird girl wouldn't dare lay a finger upon her precious Naruto kun, that (insert polite word that is a synonym for 'whore') had already done enough by tainting his adorable innocence, and anyway that privilege was strictly reserved for herself and no other.

But then, the barely clothed girl turned her head round to look back at her and stuck up the rude finger. Hinata took a step back, sure people had often thought nothing of belittling her through her entire life, but this was just taking it to extremes!

Hinata was about to run home crying to her teddy bear who was the only person who ever bothered listening to her sorrows. And her teddy bear wasn't even a person! Just an inanimate object.

Until she remembered something vital which could potentially change everything.

This was neither her cousin nor her father nor even anyone who had any ninja training. Hinata was sure the Naruto kun hogger would be sent flying bam into a wall if she so much as gave her a light flick.

So Hinata dashed over to the group without hesitation, ignoring the deadly aura radiating from the weirdo girl who was even weaker than herself.

Or so she thought…..

To be continued…..


	4. Chapter 4

The Hokage stared at the group with a raised eyebrow with one hand attempting to hide his extremely obvious nose bleed, but who could blame him?

Her perfect complexioned, hot bodied sexiness had just gifted him the privilege of breathing in the same AIR as her, Oh, and even though she was only twelve and he was well in his late sixties, he looked at her, and it was like icha icha paradise coming to life!

And absolutely nothing turned the secretly perverted old man on more than hot girls crying, it was just soooo adorable, like a hot nude porn star taking a fluffy itty bitty puppy for a walk. Sexy yet cute at the same time.

So of course though the hokage was suspicious of the girls cheesy story of a heart wrenchingly miserable childhood and falling into another dimension, he allowed her to stay and forced Tsume, (who was even more of a she man than the pink haired spitfire currently handing tissues to the sobbing Mary Sue) to allow the girl to temporarily live with her.

Because, after all it really was the least the dogface she man could do after her son had so rudely left the ingenious violet eyed beauty to fend for herself with a twisted ankle which was never twisted in the first place, but still!

After surviving that awful childhood of hers, you couldn't blame her midnight haired majesty! She deserved some tender loving care after being through so much.

He didn't want to leave her with Naruto, since the ramen obsessed orange bundle of hyperactivity could barely take care of himself. Let alone someone who had just pretended to twist their ankle. Besides, he didn't deserve the company of her most talented graceful feminineness.

And because she was so talented, The Hokage just SENSED that she would make such an amazing kunoichi, all for the purpose of letting the plotline of this fabulously written story which is almost as fabulous as Mary Sue herself run smoothly.

So the wrinkled up old man (obviously nowhere near as attractive as her violet eyed charmingness and completely out of her league ) ever faithfully following the plotline suddenly yanked a forehead protector out of thin air and handed it to said attractive violet eyed charmingness.

"Congratulations, you are now a kunoichi of the hidden leaf village, and you will train alongside whichever team of your choice, since your so much wiser than me and the entire population of Konohoah, I'm sure you'll make a well informed carefully thought out decision of your team, not on impulse or favouritism at all."

Naruto almost growled. It had taken him seven years of attending the academy, a failed exam and a life changing battle to earn HIS forehead protector. And all it had taken Mary Sue what's her face was a hot body and weak pathetic crying.

"I pick team eight" Mary Sue said impulsively, since then she could extend her rivalry with Hinata, pat Akamaru whenever she wanted, and besides, She was sooo pissed with all the crappy Mary Sue stories on fan fiction where the author's OC joins team seven and follows the same plotline as the series.

So to make it everything less predictable and to stand out among all the other Mary Sue' she was going to faithfully follow MY plotline being the obedient little definition of perfection she was, no tainting my rules whatsoever.

So with those fateful words, Kiba felt a cold chill run down his spine and Hinata had never been so excited in her life, if she were anyone else other than her social anxiety plagued self she would have been squealing and jumping up and down.

For once in her life, she'd have someone who thought her significant enough to actually go out of their way especially to try bully and belittle her! The violet eyed hooker thought HER significant!

So said violet eyed hooker's tears and sad mood somehow suspiciously went away the moment she was unjustly given her forehead protector, and she went skipping to her new home a changed woman from when she first entered the office as a sobbing drama queen pretending to have twisted their ankle.

The four ninja who had the privilege of escorting her purple eyed gracefulness to the old closet perverts office, now stared after her suspiciously.

But Mary Sue wasn't worrying about this! Oh this was all a fangirls dream come true! Except she wasn't a fangirl. She was Mary Sue and she was going to kick ass with her ten inch heels which were what had led to her pretending to have twisted her ankle in the first place!

Sakura scowled and folded her arms and like Naruto, she was fuming with jealousy. An emotion which all self-respecting creatures with Vaginas possess, directed towards every likeminded individual that happens to also possess a vagina and has larger boobs than them.

As for Naruto, he was experiencing a different kind of not so feminine jealousy (obviously, since he is a MALE even though he may in fact have experienced some not so heterosexual fantasies involving a certain duck ass haired Uchiha)

Naruto was simply jealous that the unjustly hot bodied little drama queen had managed to earn her forehead protector within two minutes.

Hinata being nearly as happy as Mary Sue about this new found rivalry went home trying to hide a smile, knowing if her cousin or asshole father were to see it, they would be sure to wipe it right off her face with a single biting remark.

Kiba felt he was the most unfortunate of all being the ungrateful little brat he was (he should have been delighted to have the undeserving pleasure of escorting and living with her midnight haired wonderfulness even if it was only temporary)

When the dog faced she man with the weirdo upside down purple triangles on her unappealing face (in other words, 'Tsume') nearly had the eyeballs melted out of her sockets, when her front door swung open to reveal an almost naked blue haired, purple eyed girl who was only wearing tight little strips of black leather and fishnet straining against her sex goddess body.

The little wannabe bimbo raised her arms above her head as if excepting an applause. Tsume twitched her nose and her super awesome canine smell sensitivity detected another very familiar scent. Tsume clenched her she man hands and shattered the glass cup she was holding.

Behind the girl was her son whom she currently felt like disowning.

" Inuzuka Kiba, I am perfectly well aware that you are entering puberty, and in your first heat session you are bound to bring home a few sluts who are keen to get it on with a twelve year old boy, I could not care less about that. But that does NOT mean you can drag home THIS."

As Kiba indignantly defended himself, petrified at the idea his mother was implying, hell he was far from puberty, his balls being almost as micro sized as his brain, weren't even FERTILE yet.

Mary Sue, meanwhile stood with her fishnet hands placed on her curvaceous hips, just brilliant for producing perfect examples of the human species almost as perfect as their mother. But no flying monkeys WAY would she be producing those perfect examples at her tender age!

Even though of course, she was certainly bound to have the talent for seducing perfectly capable, fertile good looking male studs almost as good looking as herself. After all she WAS inexplicably talented at everything she did for the first time.

But her charming, hot bodied, gorgeous, ingenious, sweet natured, perfect self was not only charming, hot bodied, gorgeous, ingenious, sweet natured and utterly perfect, but also she was a young lady with MORALS.

Because having morals and self-respect sooooo meant wearing hardly anything. So her sparky violet eyed (she was getting angry much more frequently in the narutoverse since there were just so many morons who loved to provoke her) iron hearted feistiness made a beautiful touching speech about morals and virtue that was just so touching that everyone within twenty foot radius (since she WAS giving that beautiful touching speech of hers rather loudly, but that only meant her violet eyed amazingness was passionate about what she was saying) pulled out a wad of tissues from their pockets to either dry their eyes, or stuff their ears with.

Mary Sue stood their panting after her beautiful touching speech, then handed the dog faced she man the note from the Hokage. Tsume then just shrugged her shoulders and showed her still sparky violet eyed, passionate, iron hearted amazingness to her not so amazing moth eaten stinking hell hole of a temporary new room.

Mary Sue gawped at it and threw herself onto the moth eaten bed like the drama queen she was, all set to have a long overly dramatic crying session to express her despair at the hideousness of the surroundings which were nowhere near good enough for her, with sad depressing violin music playing in the background.

But as soon as she launched herself on the mattress, god, did SHE regret it. Her sapphire haired dramaticness at once yelped aloud at how so very extremely PAINFULLY hard it was, and fell gracefully to the floor which was carpeted thank god.

And so instead she proceeded her planned long crying session there, since it was so much more comfortable than the bed, and so once she was sure the whole of hidden leaf heard her, the newly made kunoichi continued rolling on the floor sobbing like the badass she was as she rubbed her newly bruised humungous boobs which had almost been crushed to a pulp.

But the dogs of the Inuzuka household howled over her in complaint, irritated at the sound.

So their howls droned out the sound of her pitiful wails and depressing violin music playing in the background, successfully causing her moisty violet eyed pitiful damsel in distressfulness to wail even more pitifully (how dare they deny her desperate need for attention!) and the depressing background violin music to sound even more depressing as the humans of the inuzuka household rolled their slit like eyes as they all thought to themselves at the exact same time "This is going to be such a mindfucking few weeks"

To be continued…


	5. Chapter 5

Twas yet another fine sunny morning in the village of the hidden leaf, today stood her sapphire haired so much higher than you lowly mortals highness, in front of the Inuzuka bathroom mirror posing in all sorts of inappropriate ways making duck faces to herself.

She wound the forehead protector so unjustly given to her by the hokage round her neck, not copying her new rival at all. No. Mary Sue was far too original for that.

Today was day one of the chunnin exams and she had not trained at all, because she was far too fabulous for that and because she might break a nail. Though unfortunately for her, she had only recently started watching the series and had watched up to just after Sasuke and Naruto faced off Rock Lee so was utterly clueless of what was about to happen.

So being utterly clueless of what was about to happen, with no ninja training and only her fabulousness to guide her she set off on her merry way down the street following the dog nin and the rest of her new team mates to wherever the hell she was supposed to be.

So her royal sueness sauntered into the examination room, striding ahead of her team, earning herself many stares in the process. All the genin in the room stared at her, wondering if she was really a kunoichi or a hooker specially given to them by the hokage to relieve themselves of tension before the exam.

Because after all, Mary WAS wearing the exact same clothes she had arrived in, the only adjustment to her attire being the forehead protector.

The ravishing bodied definition of perfection was wearing a tight black see through lace crop top that exposed her flat pierced belly (so her opponent could so easily grab hold of it, and rip it out, therefore shredding open her belly and causing her to die of blood loss) and most of her cleavage was on display, with only skimpy lacy red lingerie covering the main parts.

She was also wearing a mini black leather skirt that strained against her wide fertile looking hips, and looked more like a wide belt than a skirt. So, that way the hot bodied sex goddess could barely walk in it, let alone running, tree hopping and kicking her opponent. And beneath it, all she wore was a G string, so that every time the wind blew ever so slightly, everyone near her would get an eyeful. Like it or not.

To keep herself warm, and protected from her opponent all she had was fishnet tights and arm bands that were completely useless as the air would blow right through them, and the fishnet would rip and snag on tree branches and twigs.

But of course, Mary Sue liked to look her best, even in battle, so she wore the same ten inch heels that caused her to pretend to twist her ankle, and her knee length hair hung loose and silky. So that it would snag on EVERYTHING, so that it would prevent her from seeing her opponent, so that her opponent could grab hold of it and hold her captive. And if that were to happen, hell no would she pull a Sakura and cut it off, she would let herself be caught and possibly killed.

So long as she could die looking like the Mary Sue she was with silken knee length sapphire locks, after all perfect hair DID complete her perfect image.

But of course, that only made her midnight haired loveliness all the more courageous. No, not vain at all.

But, however, unless she planned to seduce her opponent to their death, she was in deep shit.

Mary Sue being oblivious to all the stares directed at her, simply smiled even more egoti-confidently. Now how could our WONDERFUL protagonist possibly be anything but utterly modest and perfect?

Our wonderful, utterly modest, perfect in every way protagonist then spotted team seven with her incredible observation skills which were luckily not incredible enough to spot me peering through the window, perched on a dangerously wobbly step ladder, tippety tip tapping away at my keyboard, devotedly recording, well-CONTROLLING her every move.

Her violet eyed gracefulness then very gracefully sauntered up to team seven, since they WERE the main team in the entire series and so she was extremely eager to catch up with them.

Sakura hesitantly greeted her, she was jealous of the little sex goddesses north pole melting, Santa drowning hotness, remember? Besides, the pink haired spitfire couldn't bear watching another female, so much hotter than herself wearing such little clothing standing in front of her precious Sasuke kun. So the only reason she bothered biting back her territorial growl was so she wouldn't appear unfeminine in front of Sasuke kun.

Naruto let out a horrified little whimper of terror and cautiously backed away, hell he thought the entire unpleasant experience was just a nightmare.

Sasuke was about to open his mouth to deliver yet another nasty little put down that would shatter away some more of his adorable little foxy faced team mates soul when he heard the weak little whimper, jumping to conclusions like he always did and assuming the blissfully ignorant blonde was simply intimidated by the other genin. Then he saw the source of his terror.

Only through years of practise of being the cold unaffected little duck ass haired little ice cube he was, did he only manage to keep his shock under control. So he plastered on the same stoic 'Hn, I know exactly what's going on, but since I'm so much higher than you lowly commoners being an Uchihia/Emo, I honestly don't give a fuck' expression he always wore.

But inside he was being mentally tortured by what was before him, running in circles screaming like the little girl he secretly was.

"Hi Sasuke!" squealed Mary Sue, sooooo excited at meeting yet another non-existent person from her favourite anime which was now real, it completely slipped her mind which was supposed to be even smarter than Shikamaru's , she hadn't met Sasuke till now, so shouldn't have known his name.

The Hokage who either loved to devotedly follow the plot of all cliché rubbishly written Mary Sue fic's or just couldn't wait to die in his battle against Orochimaru, had made Mary Sue and the ninja who already knew the truth that were with her at the time (Sakura ,Naruto, Kiba, Hinata and Akamaru) all promise to never tell anyone else, including himself of any future events that were about to happen or that she had fallen from a different dimension.

All for the purpose of letting the cliché plot run smoothly and according to plan.

Sasuke, who just loved to intimidate others to make himself look all powerful and badass, because getting knocked out by your own older brother really is just sooo badass, he glared intimidatingly at the definition of perfection (but he didn't know she was perfect yet, he just thought she was a stripper) and while trying to avoid glancing at anything beneath her face ; he asked her, "How did you know my name?"

This may sound like a perfectly reasonable innocent question to ask when typed up here, but when Sasuke asked it, he might as well have asked; "Hey, mind if I rip off your hand, and bitch slap you across the face with it?"

If it were anyone but Mary Sue, they would have curled up into a little ball and have started sobbing at the harsh tone. But her sapphire haired, sparkly violet eyed feistiness was not to be intimidated! She simply tossed back her head and placed a hand on her curved extremely fertile hip, looking the very image of the typical bitchy feisty PMSing feminist that society encourages women to be in the modern day.

"You know, I believe your head is shoved so far up your ass that all you can see is your own shit, MAYBE if you took your head out your ass once in a while you'd see what a dick you are, and maybe THEN I'd answer you."

And with that extremely cliché speech that made her look as though she was auditioning for mean girls 3, she huffed and stomped off.

If the power puff girls were here, they would be shaking their pom poms this minute, performing an elaborate routine of cartwheels and twirls ; screaming, "Girl Power!"

But since the power puff girls are unfortunately not Naruto characters, the existing Naruto characters that WERE present at the disgustingly cliché scene that looked as though it belonged to a high school chick flick rather than a super awesome anime, simply rolled their eyes, face palmed and all agreed that the little wannabe bimbo must've been PMSing.

They were all used to poorly written self inserts created by amateur thirteen year old authors tumbling into the Narutoverse, all trying desperately hard to pay out every character their authors didn't like.

But that blue haired bimbo had just broke the record for the most bitchy, moody, cliché, most unoriginal of all.

Hinata twiddled her fingers, but was secretly very ashamed of having such a loser as her new rival.

Shino just rolled his eyes from beneath his shades and went back to playing with his pet bugs and Sasuke didn't even bother wasting his valuable thoughts on someone who was even more pathetic than all of fan girls put together.

Just then team nine walked into the scene. In the corner was some hooker with blue hair sulking, and team eight and seven huddled together in a tightly knit circle, bitching away about amateur thirteen year old authors and poorly written OC's and self inserts, occasionally glancing at the blue haired hooker and shaking their heads in pity.

Ino forgot all about glomping Sasuke as she'd planned to and moved right in on the gossip; " So, what did we miss?"

To be continued…..


	6. Chapter 6

The sneaky little mind reading bitch stood, hands on hips, waiting for an answer, no one bothered giving her one and simply continued gossiping. Ino really wasn't very popular amongst her classmates, she was kind of konohoa's Regina George.

So she turned her attention to the blue haired stripper, hesitant to approach her. Being in the company of someone who is crying and not wearing much is kind of awkward. Unless of course they are of the opposite sex to you. (Duh) So Choji, eager to make things right was the first one to walk up to her and offer her a chip like the social butterfly he was.

Mary Sue turn to face him, lovely face was of course flawless, no trace of tears, but those distinctive eyes of hers were brimming. She looked exactly like the kawaai chibi anime character she was. The little vibrant embodiment of wonderfulness stood traumatized, as this brought back flashbacks of the fateful day when those so called friends of hers tried to fatten her up. (which was only yesterday)

She knocked the chip from chouji's hand, and was about to curl up into a pitiful bundle of sorrow in hope of attracting a concerned crowd of ninja, therefore kindling her desperate need for attention. Then she saw the startling red head chip had landed on. Garra.

Mary Sue may not have watched the whole series, but she had read multiple fanfic's featuring Garra to be a sort of sweet cuddly insomniac red haired panda with a heart of pure gold bursting with soft blissfully corny mushiness underneath all that deadly sociopathness . The sort of person that sent both emo's and little children throwing up rainbows and reaching for their sharpest flick knives.

Plus, he had a pretty nice ass which made up for his scrawniness and total lack of height and zero trace of muscle.

So the celestial midnight haired godliness, was now absolutely sure the whole reason she was sent to Narutoverse in the first place was because she was the one who was to pass through the haze of foggy blackness that stood in the way of his pure heart of gold, she would then passionately grope it, smother it in the kind of hugs only soul mates share.

She would claim it for her own, no matter what conquest dared stand in her way. Screw Naruto, even though he was a miserable adorable little unloved orphan and screw his stinky flea infested frenemy too.

Now her one purpose in life was to hit on Garra.

Starting from 3, 2, 1….. 0! With that she tore across the room with enthusiasm rivalling rock lee, before she used her ingenious brain which seemed to enjoy constantly leaving for extended vacations. Garra would probably shield himself with sand if she dared glomp him, and he didn't seem the sort of person who respond to straightforward affection. It was kind of a touchy subject.

She would have to sneakily worm her way to his pure heart of sparkliness, she needed to use the subtle approach. So she slowed down, and tossed her sapphire head of silk as she walked up to him. Rolling with confidence, she fixed him with the piercing gaze of her violet eyes, walk effortlessly graceful.

" I apologize from the depths of my limitlessly vast heart of glistening pureness which I'm certain is identical to yours for the carless tossing of the chip of barbequeness which is currently regally reclining upon your head of flaming sunset."

The eloquent ultra-romantic articulate little poetical loveliness then clasped her perfect hands to her bosom even vaster than her pure heart of glistening pureness and slowly gazed up, a gentle charming smile gracing her luscious lips, silver tears brimming at her radiant violet eyes.

" I swear an oath to the skies of glittering silver, to allow the bitter sorrow to consume my now tainted soul, to never allow peace into my spirit till the day you quench my misery with the undeserving gift of your forgiveness."

Garra had been about to gag her with dry sand, but after hearing this sincere yet theoretical apology the adorable little sociopath knew that he was defeated in being the biggest the world's biggest drama queen. So he simply shrugged his shoulders and started walking off leaving his siblings to gawp at his retreating back. Well at least Temari was, Kankorou was far too absorbed in leering at Mary Sue's almost nude hot body to care.

The puppet playing loser stuck a hand into a pocket deep within the depths of his black cape of black silkiness and pulled out a few coins, and held them out to the hot bodied sex goddess.

"Hey, how much do you charge for a blow job?"

His painted face was stretched into a rather paedophilic smirk. Obviously Kankorou had never heard of the subtle approach. Mary sue once again launched into a long tirade of preserving her virtue till Kankorou eventually got bored, and wandered off to go satisfy his pent up sexual desires with one of his puppets, assuming the little hooker obviously charged more than he could afford.

Meanwhile Kabotou had just finished his little bitching session with all the rookies about the different competitors. Next thing Mary Sue knew some sort of conflict between Kabouto and one of the competitors from the sound village was going on. Whatever. She was too busy eyeing Garra's ass to listen.

Her little sexual fantasies were forced to come to a stop once she found herself seated with a test paper in front of her with Shikamaru beside her obviously making rash judgments about her slutty dressing his ingenious brain.

She politely nodded her perfect head every now and then to whatever crap the ugly bald dude was trying to scare them with, but inside she was laughing at him. She was the courageous survivor of a tragic past, she had triumphed in the face of adversity! She had taken bravery to new heights! This test was a fly on the wall to her.

The lovely hot bodied angel finally opened up her test paper after telepathically sending her team mates death threats to do well as to not deduct points. But alas, that intelligent brain of hers was off on yet another extended vacation. Mary Sue let out a distressed whimper which was probably heard all over konoah.

She turnt her head round in the most obvious way possible to peek at Shikamaru's paper. Then remembered that she was supposed to be a lady of virtue so refrained from doing so. Mary Sue then proceeded to write 'please let me pass'

All over her paper, embellishing the page with puppy dog face emoicons as she went along till the test was over and it was time for the tenth question.

Her stubborn minded blue haired vixenness did not give a toss about herself and her teammates failing, she didn't want to stay stuck a genin forever, it didn't matter anyway. She was sure she'd be able to bribe the old hokage into promoting her to chunnin with some sexual favour.

The hell with self-respect, that was only for nun's anyway.(besides she needed practise to become worthy of the lovely ass of a certain panda eyed sociopath)

Of course her sapphire haired ever so much higher than you lowly mortals highness possessed a quick mind which made decisions at the speed of light, decisions that could completely alter her station in humanity.

One minute she'd be a lesbian, the next minute she'd be pregnant.

It was amazing. Really.

So unlike all the other pathetic spineless losers who raised their hands with hesitation, Mary Sue stuck hers up immediately, her massive bust swelling up even larger with confidence.

"Team 8 disqualified!"

"Aburame Shino, Hyuuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba,- The ninja reading aloud the names halted a second and raised an eyebrow as he spoke the final name; "Mary sue?"

The midnight haired angel then stood up smiled and waved goodbye to everyone in the room like the polite cultured young lady she was (even though she had decided to abandon all self-respect for herself a minute ago)

She then strode outside and was about to skip out the building tossing her midnight silk adorned head with every step, but she was halted in her tracks by her three teammates.

I swear if they had cool violet eyes like her lovely fabulousness, they would have burnt their own sockets off with the fiery golden sparks people on fan fiction so love to burn others self-esteem with. Even Hinata.

Mary Sue slumped her shoulders and sighed. Her second romantic attempt to flirt with Garra would just have to wait.


End file.
